All I want is everything
by jjp91
Summary: It's for your own good, for your own protection.' She was tired of his selfsacrifices and his excuses. So she'd date the entire Slytherin house actually, only the guys. She'd handled Tom Riddle, so it'd be fine... till he came back DMGW
1. Chapter 1

_It's for your own good…_

_But, it'll be fine!_

_I'm just trying to protect you…_

_I don't need protection!_

_When this is all over, we can be together, I swear…_

_Take your stupid excuses and shove it up you arse! I can't believe you! You're cheating on me with Voldemort!_

Alright, so she hadn't said the last one in response to Harry's excuses, but she should have. She bloody should have. Who was he to think that just because he had to go save the bloody Wizarding world, which he wasn't REALLY going to do since Dumbledore wasn't really dead, it was just a ploy, and the Malfoys were really on the light side, and great confusing piles of rubbish like that… but the point was, she was SO over the Boy-who-likes-to-shag-evil-reincarnated! No more of this well-maybe rubbish. She was moving on if it was the LAST thing she did. Just like Hermione, who was now ignoring the prat that called himself her brother and dating Ernie Macmillan. Even if Macmillan was a prat. But that was beside the point. The point was… wait what was the point. Oh, the point was she was going to prove that she was so over that prat that called himself Harry Potter. And how was she going to do that? By dating every bloody male. Or not. She had priorities, after all.

Harry carefully watched Ginny. They were sitting at the burrow, eating dinner. She was laughing, which was normal, but she wasn't going out of her way to be overly polite to him. If he asked for the salt she casually tossed it at him, not even paying attention to him long enough to even look at him. There was something wrong.

He confronted her about it after dinner.

'Ginny, we have to talk.'

'About what, Harry, about what? I'm rather busy. I'd promised I'd send Dra- I mean somebody a letter, and I've been so far behind in my writing.'

Her slip did not go unnoticed by Harry.

'Who are you writing to?' He asked.

'People. It's not like it's any of your business.'

'Of course it is! We're friends, aren't we?'

'I'd like to think of it as more of casual acquaintances, Harry. But really, I'm rather busy, so what did you want to talk about?'

Harry swallowed. 'Why are you acting so weird?'

'Weird? I'm acting weird. I'm not the one who can't come up with a halfway decent way to break up with a person. Also, I don't think I go around moaning about my scar prickling. AAAnddd, at least I have a social life. Now if you'll excuse me, I've met some rather fit blokes from town, and I'm meeting them in an hour and I have to get ready.' With that, she sashayed away.

Ginny: 1

Harry: 0

So take that Harry bloody Potter

'Gin, can I talk to you?' Hermione asked from the doorway.

'Yes?' Ginny looked up at Hermione. Hermione was a bushy-haired as always, but at least the girl was now agreeing to wear make-up and better clothes.

'Harry said that you've been acting funny.' The older girl said as she made her way over and sat down on Ginny's bed, where the girl was playing with Arnold, the Pygmy Puffskin.

'So has he.'

'Harry always acts funny. Now, what's the matter with you?'

Ginny was then forced to outline her plot to get Harry back.

'Dating every male that you can get your hands on? GINNY!'

'What? I've already got a reputation for being a bit of a slag. I can make this work for me.'

'GINNY! The next thing you know you and Pansy Parkinson will be the best of friends and run a brothel together.'

'Gawd, Hermione, don't be such a prude. I'm just saying, do the classic jealousy ploy. Works everytime.'

'If you really know what you're doing.' Hermione sighed.

'Oh I do.' Ginny smiled evilly. 'I most definitely do.'

'GINNY!' Ron yelped.

'What?' Ginny growled. Her trunk was HEAVY damn him. All she wanted to do was find her friends and begin her evil plot for Harry destruction. But noooo. He wanted to talk.

'What are you wearing?' He demanded.

Frowning, Ginny looked down at her outfit. She was wearing the muggle clothes that Hermione had leant her for the trip from the Headquarters to Hogwarts. Low slung jeans, halter, honestly.

'Clothes. I thought you didn't want me running around naked, say?' She asked.

'I wouldn't mind.' A dark haired boy commented as he walked by with Draco Malfoy.

Ginny watched as Ron's face turned red.

'Thanks.' Ginny winked. 'But brother dearest would.'

'Oh, you're a Weasley?' The boy wrinkled his nose.

'Yes. And you're…'

'Blaise Zambini. Now, I think I'll leave before the weasel here explodes and I get muggle-lover blood all over me.' The two boys strutted off, Malfoy looking as hot, and as bloody evil, as ever.

'Thank you, Ron, for being as ah-nnoying as always. Now if you don't mind, I'm off to find my friends.' Ginny huffed, and stomped off as best as her three inch stilettos would allow. Which made her madder, since stomping in heels wasn't the easiest thing in the world.

'GINNY!' She looked into a compartment to find her best friends, Colin Creevey and Luna Lovegood waving at her.

'Heyyyyy!' She squealed. 'Long time no see!'

'Or hear from.' Luna added. 'I was in Africa. The boys down there were marvy. I think I was bitten by an Aphromite, though.'

'Let me guess. You slept with half the blokes in the village.'

'HEY!' Luna shrieked. 'You make me sound like some sort of slag who acts with no propriety whatsoever and uses her innocent ramblings to her advantage!'

'Your point is?' Colin laughed. 'Did you find out any of their names?'

'I wouldn't be able to pronounce them if I did, so I never bothered.' Luna said primly, pulled on her Spectorspecs, and opened the Quibbler; before snapping it shut and checking her watch. 'Och, I'm going to the loo, so I'll see you at the prefect meeting, Gin.

'Honestly, I don't know how she does it.' Lavender sighed as she and Parvati entered the compartment.

'I know!' Ginny complained, hugging her two other best friends. 'She acts like a raving idiot, yet STILL gets more action then we do.'

'MIXED COMPANY!' Colin yelped. 'I do NOT want to know about your sexual exploits. So, any lesbian hook ups?' He grinned.

'COLIN!' They shrieked.

'I had to ask, I had to ask.' Colin shrugged. 'Now if you don't mind, Parvati, my _girlfriend_, whom I haven't seen in about three months and I have some catching up to do.'

The other girls rolled their eyes and ignored the snogging couple.

'So how was your summer, Gin?' Lavender asked.

'Alright. Except I had to deal with Harry bloody Potter the whole time. I swear, his ego's almost bigger than Malfoy's penis.' She joked.

'GINNY!' Lavender giggled, whacking the younger girl. 'Hands off, he's mine!'

'Now, now ladies, no need to fight.' A cool voice said from the doorway.

Ginny turned slowly to face a smirking Draco Malfoy, backed by Zambini, Crabbe, and Goyle.

'As if.' She tossed her head like an angry horse. 'We were complementing Harry, his ego's quite small, if you get my drift.' She let her eyes drift towards Malfoy's lower regions before smirking.

Malfoy smirked and sneered 'Well, you'll just have to find out if you're assumption is correct sometime, Weaselette. Now, as enthralling this is, I was told to give you this.' He dropped a letter onto Ginny's lap. 'And you're late to the prefect meeting.'

Ginny just noticed the Head Boy badge pinned onto his chest. _Bloody Hell._

'I'm coming, I'm coming, keep your peroxide-and-hair-gel-molested mop on your head.' She stood up and followed the older Slytherins to the head compartment. 'What's up with the gaurds?' She demanded.

Malfoy gave her a withering glare then continued walking.

'Fine, don't answer me.' Ginny pouted.

No answer from either of the four boys.

Ginny was SO not used to being ignored.

'Oy, Ferret, I'm talking to you.'

'And Weaselette, I'm ignoring you.'

Ginny glared, and began stomping.

'VINCENT AND GREGORY! YOU BABOONS!' An irate and very pretty blonde screeched as she flung herself out of a compartment door.

'Pansy, I know I'm enthralling, but no need to throw yourself at me.' Blaise joked.

'As if. Hey, look, there's a girl with you. Back to my problem. Draco, the baboons ATE my lipgloss!'

'DID NOT!' Vincent grunted.

'That was lipgloss?' Goyle joked. 'Tasted too sweet, if you ask me…'

'YOU APE!' Pansy shrieked and dragged them inside the compartment.

'That was interesting.' Ginny commented dryly. Still no response, although she thought she saw Zambini smiling to himself.

'Zambini, you're ugly.'

'And you're noisy.'

'I WIN!' She shrieked. 'You're not ignoring me anymore, are you!'

'I was never ignoring you. Draco was.'

'Will you two grow up?' Malfoy demanded.

'I think I like the height I'm at. Now, the Weaselette needs to grow, up, she's tiny!'

'The terms petite, Zambini, and I rather be short than the clumsy oaf you are.'

'You truly wound me,' the dark haired Slytherin laughed and grabbed his heart for affect.

'We're here.' Malfoy announced, throwing open the Heads compartment.

The assembled students looked slightly surprised that Ginny was walking with two Slytherins, but turned back to Hermione, who was seething.

'Now that these, LATECOMERS, have arrived, we can continue. Here are the schedules for patrols, and here are the meetings, and oh,' She exclaimed.

'Forgot to take the lewd love letter from the he-weasel out of your notes?' Malfoy sneered as he sat down with the other Slytherins, who grinned in welcoming, rolling their eyes in the direction of Hermione.

Ron snarled, and leapt to his feet, but one of the other Gryffindors pulled him back down.

'DUMBLEDORE.' Hermione spat, drowning out Malfoy. 'Has decided that in the pursuit of inter-house unity…'

'We are required to snog any attractive girls from opposite houses whenever we feel like.' A fifth-year Slytherin called out.

Everyone laughed, and he and Malfoy bumped fists.

Hermione rolled her eyes, before continuing 'all prefects are to share dorms and a common room. The rooms will be divided by every two years…'

'So we're sharing with girls? This year's getting better and better.' The same Slytherin boy crowed.

After another round of laughter and fist-bumps, Hermione continued with her speech, but Ginny tuned her out. Luna was sitting with the Ravenclaw, twirling her hair, and looking out the window. When she looked at Ginny, she grinned, nodded towards the Slytherins, and mouthed 'how about dating one of them? Harry'll love it.'

Ginny smirked back. Luna was on to something there. She looked at the group of Slytherins. They all were actually rather hot, and they had the whole bad-boy/playboy/heart-breaker thing down. Death Eaters? She had handled Tom Riddle. What could a bunch of followers do?


	2. Chapter 2

_After another round of laughter and fist-bumps, Hermione continued with her speech, but Ginny tuned her out. Luna was sitting with the Ravenclaw, twirling her hair, and looking out the window. When she looked at Ginny, she grinned, nodded towards the Slytherins, and mouthed 'how about dating one of them? Harry'll love it.'_

_Ginny smirked back. Luna was on to something there. She looked at the group of Slytherins. They all were actually rather hot, and they had the whole bad-boy/playboy/heart-breaker thing down. Death Eaters? She had handled Tom Riddle. What could a bunch of followers do?_

**A/N Thanks for the reviews!**

**Summerbleuz: Well, I know Luna's not exactly like that, but this makes her more interesting…**

'Wow! Look at THIS!' Melanie Griffin gasped to Ginny as they followed Hermione and Malfoy into the new Prefect tower.

'The password is unity.' Hermione explained as she pushed the portrait of people from the 17th century dancing open.

Ginny gazed around the common room. It was large, decorated in the various house colours. There were couches, tables, and a blazing fireplace.

'Girls on the left, boys on the right. The Heads dorm is straight ahead, with Malfoy' on the right, mine on the left, in case you need something.'

'I need something. I'm lonely. Draco?' Pansy Parkinson joked.

There were laughs from the Slytherins, and giggles from other students.

'Take a number, Pansy.' Malfoy winked, then walked towards his dorm room.

Everyone used his actions as a cue to go explore their dorms.

'Well this is just brilliant. We have to share a dorm with Hanna Abbott, Pansy Parkinson, Cho Chang' (here the girls snickered because of Cho failing her final year and having to repeat it) 'Arabella Halliwell-Turner, and Mya Rebskin.' Ginny whispered to Luna.

'It could be worse.' Luna replied. 'We could have Crumple Horned Snoracks as roommates. They snore quire a bit.'

'Uh, yaah, thanks Luna.' Ginny replied as they reached their dorm.

It was a large room, with the standard furnishings.

'I call this bed!' Parkinson shrieked, flopping down by the best bed, the one next to the window which had its desk directly underneath it.

'THIS ONE'S MINE!' Halliwell-Turner giggled, flopping on the second best one.

'You can't choose the beds! That's not fair!' Hanna cried.

'Nothing's fair.' Parkinson shrugged, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder and giving the chubby girl an annoyed glare.

'Shut up Parkinson you cow, and go fruuping shag some man-whore, since that's all you're good for, you slut.' Cho Chang snapped, fixing her hair and staring avidly at herself in the mirror.

'DEAR!' The mirror gasp. 'Language!'

'Chang, just because you can't get any doesn't mean that you should be jealous of those who can. I mean, really, you got dumped by Weaselette's sloppy seconds, and the only action you can get is from Diggory, but he's dead, isn't he? Are you a necro now?'

'Weasley's boyfriend left her for me.' Chang snarled.

'Is that what he told you?' Ginny demanded. 'Correction, I dumped him, he wasn't _man _enough for me, if you get my drift.' She was seething. Cho Chang and her jumped up glory, thinking that she could go steal Harry, and Michael.

Chang flushed red and snarled something before stomping out of the tower. To Ginny's surprise, Parkinson grinned at her and winked, before following Chang, yelling 'What, are you off to go shag a ghost now? Or cry?'

'What a cow. She's so touchy. Honestly, can't she just accept the facts? I mean, we ALL know she's such a slag.' Hannah Abbot sighed; the other girls in the room nodded in agreement, except for Halliwell-Turner, the other Slytherin girl, who glared.

'I know. Honestly, Chang just needs to realise she's a buggery swot-brain and grow up.' Ginny snapped, shocking ever herself.

The other girls in the dorm gasped, glaring at Ginny. Halliwell-Turner grinned at her, and drawled 'Very well put, Weasley, very well put.' And walked out.

Noting the death-rays that she was receiving, Ginny followed the brunette out.

'I wonder why you weren't put in Slytherin.' The girl said once they were out on the landing.

'Because red hair clashes with the Death Eater ensemble.' Ginny said before she could correct herself.

Halliwell-Turner shrugged. 'I think it's probably because you're too prejudiced.'

'Prejudiced? _I'm _not the one that hates muggle-borns!'

'That's not being prejudiced. We judge only on character.'

'Bull.'

'We think it's a character flaw to allow oneself to be born into such a family.' Halliwell-Turner shrugged. 'But if the Mudblood ever allowed themselves to prove that their above the normal lot of them…'

'Hermione's smart, and you lot don't like _her_.'

'I never said we were looking for who was the swot box.' The other girl raised her eyebrows, widened her amethyst eyes and gazed around the common room, looking for Parkinson. When she failed to find her, she sighed and started towards Malfoy's room.

'Coming?' She asked when she noted that Ginny was merely watching her.

'To MALFOY's room?'

'Would you rather sit in the common room and wait for the other four girls we live with to lynch you?'

Conceding the point, Ginny followed Halliwell-Turner to the Slytherin leader's lair.

It was a large room, she noted, done up in Silver and Green and full of grandeur. Parkinson was sprawled across the green duvet, ranting to the blonde sitting at the desk. The two stopped their conversation (rather, Parkinson stopped ranting) when they spotted the newcomers.

'Kitten, you've got a weasel following you.' The lord of Slytherins drawled, eyeing Ginny.

'I'm protecting her from the Potter-lovers. And don't call me that, you great prat.' Halliwell-Turner complained.

'I thought she was one, too.' Malfoy commented dryly.

Ginny rolled her eyes and shuddered. 'As if. I can't stand the bloody prat.'

Parkinson grinned. 'You're already one of us. Got anything to drink, Draco?'

'Nooo…' He began, glancing at Ginny, but Halliwell-Turner was already under his desk, yanking out a bottle of firewhisky.

'Haa haa, sharing is caring, darling.' She giggled, taking a swig.

Ginny gulped. She had done some drinking, and it was around ten at night and highly unlikely that anyone else would come in, but really…

'Want some?' The girl waved the bottle in Ginny's direction.

Noting the other Slytherins stares, Ginny gulped. She couldn't back out now, could she.

'Arabella, hand it over.' Parkinson said, after watching Ginny's face for a couple of seconds.

'I'll have some.' Ginny decided, after all, one shot couldn't hurt.

'You're all only getting one sip.' Malfoy glared. 'Slytherin party, and I'm not caring you lot back here. Knowing my luck, you'll all be horrendously sick, or something.'

'You won't have to bring me back.' Parkinson smirked.

'Me neither. I'll find a bed somewhere. So it's only Ginny.' Halliwell-Turner grinned.

'You never know, she might find someone to spend the night with.' Parkinson grinned.

Ginny paled and giggled nervously. 'I don't think…'

'Come on, Weaselette, you've got to come. What would you rather do? Spend the night, and the weekend, with the insane girls in this dorm? Or come party with us? Arabie and I'll take good care of you.' Parkinson grinned, slinging an arm around the red-head's shoulders.

'Uhhh…' Ginny hesitated. But then again, she wanted to get over Harry right? 'Count me in.' She grinned.

'Ginny?' Hermione asked as she ran into the girl in the prefects bathroom. Ginny was carefully applying mascara, ignoring the mermaid who was complaining that the red-head was blocking the view of the mirror.

'Yes?' Ginny barely paid attention to her. She was meeting Arabella and Pansy, as they insisted on being called (honestly, do you _know_ how long my last name is? Who wants to say Halliwell-Turner all the time?).

'Ginny, where are you going?'

'Party. Tomorrow's Saturday.' Ginny responded calmly.

'Oh! But GINNY YOU CAN'T GO! I WON'T LET YOU! YOUR BROTHER WILL HATE YOU FOR ETERNITY!' Hermione wailed, placing a hand to her brow in a very dramatic manner.

'Erm, Herms?' Ginny asked worriedly.

Hermione winked, and nodded towards the door. _Cho wants me to yell at you_. She mouthed.

'OH HERMIONE, I COULD NEVER DREAM OF DOING THAT! SO LET ME PUT ON MY MOST WILDLY REVEALING CLOTHES AND GO HAVE WILD PASSIONATE INTERDIGITATION WITH THE NEAREST HOT BLOKE I SEE!' Ginny giggled, waved good-bye to Hermione, and opened the door.

'Hey, babe, I'm very hot, and very near.' The annoying Slytherin fifth year from the meeting winked.

'You're a year younger than me. That's creepy.' Ginny informed him, and went off to meet the Slytherins.

'You know whassi don't get?' Ginny slurred, waving her firewhisky cheerfully in the air at Theodore Nott.

'Whass?' He grinned, falling back onto the wall behind them.

'Why you lot are paying attention to me!' She giggled.

'You're hot. And Pansy dessssiiided that we have to assscept you. If we didn't, she would remove our di… erm reproductive organs.'

'Ousssh.' Ginny nodded solemnly.

'You bet.' Theodore grinned, and teetered unsteadily on his feet.

'Nott, I think you've had too much to drink.' Blaise Zambini commented.

'Course he hasss.' Ginny giggled. 'He's hassan entire handle full.'

'Uhh, alright. Now, let's get you two to a chair or something before you pass out…' Zambini said hesitantly. The drunken pair were alarmingly near the fire place, and if they fell in, it wouldn't be HIS fault.

'Wannus to hook up, issit? Well, I don't do threesomes, Zambiniiii, thassweird.' Theodore said wisely.

'Uhh, kay.' On second thought, who cared if the stupid sandy haired boy burned?

'Oy, Weaselette, you're completely sauced.' Arabella giggled. 'Ooh, that bloke over there's HOT! Ehmagawd, it's that MacMillian bloke, from Hufflepuff. Ginny, wanna know how I know I'm drunk?'

'How?' Ginny asked, waving her drink at Arabella.

'Because he looks HOT!' Arabella burst into hysterics, before stumbling away, giggling to herself.

'Sooo, wanna have wild animalistic sex?' Theodore grinned. 'I hadda better pass, but I'm so damn drunk I forgot it.'

Ginny giggled, and swayed. 'Sure!' Dammit, there was a weird voice in the back of her head that was going NO, GINNY NO!

'No, Ginny, you don't want to. You're blaggered. Come on, Blaise, let's get her back to the dorms. I don't think I'm feeling to well, either. I don't like that funny lampy thing.' Pansy interfered, looking mildly concerned

'You mean a bong?' Blaise said, sighing as he examined the older girl for signs of damage.

'No, I know what a BONG is. I don't like the thing on the TABLE.' Rolling her eyes, she gestured to a strange apparatus that was giving off light on the table.

'Erm, right. Draco, where the hell are you.'

'Here, and no, I won't have sex with you.' Malfoy said sarcastically as he wandered over, nursing a G&T.

'Help me get these two back to the commons, will you?'

'Why?' Malfoy rolled his eyes.

'Cos Ginny pro'ly shouldn't hook up with Theo.' Pansy said, grabbing a Mai Tai from the bar.

'We can stick her in the girls' dorms. It's called ENJOYING yourself, Blaise. It's a party.' Draco waved his drink in the general direction of the room. 'Besides, when've you turned into such a swot, Pans?'

'I don't want anyone getting hurt, alright? Fine, I'll get Ginny into a place where she won't get raped by you lot, then I'm coming back.' Pansy stalked off, pulling Ginny with her.

'HEYY!' Complained the remaining two. 'We would NOT.'

'Why's MacMillian here?' Blaise demanded, nodding over towards Arabella, who was draped over the aforementioned Hufflepuff.

'Dunno. Should we stop Bella before she sleeps with him?' Malfoy sighed, eyeing the petite girl.

'Pro'ly. She'd be rather upset to found out that she slept with a Hufflepuff.'

There were drills in Ginny's head. Drills that focused on her temples, slowly drilling outwards, harder and harder, accompanied with a steady pounding mallet.

'CLOSE THE EFFING DRAPES!' Someone yelled.

Ginny was about to chime in in agreement, but her head wouldn't let her. It hurt too much. Slowly she opened an eye, then closed it. Why was she in a completely green room? What the hell? She heard voices, soft ones at that, then someone muttering about having to close the drapes before she took the sun and shoved it up someone's arse.

'Gin, you awake?' A voice, entirely too shrill, asked from beside her.

'What?' Ginny re-opened her eyes, wincing at the light. The room looked like the Gryffindor dorms, or the prefect ones, except it was done up in all green. Was she in the SLYTHERIN dorms?

'Gin?'

'Yaah.' Ginny sat upright, coming face-to-face with Pansy.

'Hangover? Have some o'this.' She handed Ginny a bottle, with _Weasley's Hangover Curing Potion _on the side. 'Remind me to kiss your brothers for this. It's brilliant.'

'No prob.' Ginny swallowed the potion, and enjoyed the feeling of her head clearing, 'Uhh, where the heck are we?'

'Slytherin commons. You were about to sleep with Theo.' Pansy said calmly, yanking out a change of clothes for Ginny.

'Where's Arabella?'

'She spent the night with Malfoy.' Pansy said delicately, although Ginny could see her anger.

'Oops.'

'Yaah. Self-centred bitch.'

'What?' Arabella demanded from the door.

Ginny decided it was a good time to go for a flight.

Draco was in a bad mood. Normally HE was the one who told girls to get out, because he was Draco Shag-'em-and-Split Malfoy (does anyone remember the line that Matt uses in Band Camp? His was much better, and my friend came up with this when half-blazed), as Blaise like to call it. But no, he had to get piss drunk and sleep with Arabella, who was the ONLY girl who was more of a commitment-phobe than him. Godfruupingdammit.

He circled the Quidditch pitch on his broom, glaring pensively. He continued to beside the Hufflepuff tower, where he noticed a shock of red hair.

'Weaselette, spying isn't very polite.'

'WHAT THE Hell!' Ginny shrieked. 'You scared me, ferret!'

'You're spying on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team taking showers.'

'So?'

'I knew that Weasely were blood traitors and the like, but I didn't think that they'd shag _Hufflepuffs_.'

'Who cares what their blood is? They're hot.' Ginny ignored him. She remembered exactly why she didn't like the blonde ferret.

'I also knew that you lot were poor, but whoring yourself out isn't the best method to get money. You could try scrubbing floors with the house-elves.' The blonde gave her a superior smirk.

'Shut up.' Ginny glared.

'Or you'll sick the wonder team on me?'

'Or I'll make bats come out of your nose and attack you mercilessly.' Ginny waved her wand threateningly.

'I'm so afraid.' Malfoy sneered. 'Careful, you might poke your own eye out with that. Then the great Harry Potter wouldn't love you anymore.'

'I'm WARNING YOU, Malfoy!' Ginny glared, flying up to the top of the roof and standing on it, to get better leverage.

Malfoy landed right beside her.

'Oh, but I forgot? The great Potter doesn't love you, does he? He's broken up with you.'

Ginny tried to whack Malfoy with her broom. Malfoy grabbed it, twisted it out of her hands, and took off on his.

'Have a nice time on the roof, Weaselette!' He laughed over his shoulder.

Ginny wanted to kill him. She was stuck, on a roof, with no broom since she practically HANDED her broom to Malfoy. Why hadn't she just cursed him?

'Parkinson.' Hermione barked as the said Slytherin girl calmly walked into prefect tower.

'Yes, oh great beaverlike-one?'

Hermione clenched her fists, and demanded 'Where the hell is Ginny?'

'I dunno, probably having sex with Draco or something.' She tried to continue walking, but Hermione's outstretched arm stopped her. 'Malfoy's just come in after you. Try again.'

'I wasn't SERIOUS, Mudblood, chill. How am I supposed to know?'

'Because she was WITH you last NIGHT.' Hermione screeched.

'Slytherin parties are big, Granger. And Weaselette doesn't need a baby sitter.'

Hermione glared and stomped off, leaving Pansy to count to ten before grabbing Malfoy and dragging him into his room.

'Well, Parkinson, I knew you wanted me, but no need to drag me in here.' Malfoy smirked.

'Cut the crap, Draco. Where's Weaselette?'

'Why ask me?'

'Because you started grinning like an idiot when Hermione mentioned that the Weaselette was missing.'

'I thought she was your newest project, Pansy. Why do you call her the Weaselette?

'Because it's a good nickname, fine, if she gets killed, I will personally hold you responsible and tell everyone about the time you got so drunk that you snogged Crabbe!' On that cheerful and endearing note, Pansy swished off, not before she grabbed some champagne from Malfoy's desk.

_I will not panic, I will not panic_. Ginny thought worriedly as she paced back and forth. _I will not panic, I will not panic, I will not panic. I am not stuck on a roof, sans broom, sans anyone knowing where I am, I will not panic, I will not panic, HOLY FUCKING SHIT!'_

'Something the matter, Weaselette?' The dark form of Blaise Zambini appeared at the edge of the roof.

'DON'T DO THAT.' She shrieked.

'Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity.' He said in a sing-song voice.

'And I've reached the third sign, which is smacking people on the upside of the head randomly.' She growled.

'Witty, Weaselette, witty. Now, why were you chanting about not panicking?'

'What does it LOOK like? I'm stuck on top of a bloody roof!'

'And why were you on said roof in the first place?'

'Because I was spying on the Hufflepuff Quidditch Showers, and then the ferret came and took my broom and left me up here.'

'Spying on ickle Hufflepuffs? Why, I'm ashamed of you, my dear petite blood-traitor. I mean, I thought you had at least _some _self-respect. Tut, tut. Ahh well, adieu, dear.' And the prat hopped back on his broom and flew off, leaving an astounded Ginny. He had just LEFT her on the roof.

'BLOODY HELL!' She screamed, stomping angrily.

'Ginny? Is that you?' The boy wonder himself and his unshakable side-kick flew up to greet her. 'Why are you on the roof?'

Dammit. He was going to have to save her again. She was DEFINETLY not going to let herself be saved, thank you very much!

'I felt like it. I mean, it's great to enjoy the view and all, you know.'

'How'd you get up here?' Harry had that infuriating grin on his face, the I-am-just-playing-along grin. Well fine, then.

'I was meeting Blaise Zambini up here, to erm, _hang out_.' She grinned, smirking at Harry's and Ron's expressions of shock.

'How are you going to get down?' Harry said.

'He's just gone to get something to drink, and I'll go down with him.' Ginny was making things up wildly. Next she'd say that they were having crazy animalistic kinky sex up here.

'What exactly were you doing?' Ron demanded.

'Having crazy wild ani… I mean, I told you already. We were just hanging out.'

'Alright then.' Harry shrugged, and he and the tomato-red Ron flew off.

'So, m'dear, just hanging out were we?' A laughing voice said from behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

'_Ginny? Is that you?' The boy wonder himself and his unshakable side-kick flew up to greet her. 'Why are you on the roof?'_

_Dammit. He was going to have to save her again. She was DEFINETLY not going to let herself be saved, thank you very much!_

_'I felt like it. I mean, it's great to enjoy the view and all, you know.'_

_'How'd you get up here?' Harry had that infuriating grin on his face, the I-am-just-playing-along grin. Well fine, then._

_'I was meeting Blaise Zambini up here, to erm, hang out.' She grinned, smirking at Harry's and Ron's expressions of shock._

_'How are you going to get down?' Harry said._

_'He's just gone to get something to drink, and I'll go down with him.' Ginny was making things up wildly. Next she'd say that they were having crazy animalistic kinky sex up here._

_'What exactly were you doing?' Ron demanded._

_'Having crazy wild ani… I mean, I told you already. We were just hanging out.'_

_'Alright then.' Harry shrugged, and he and the tomato-red Ron flew off._

_'So, m'dear, just hanging out were we?' A laughing voice said from behind her._

**A/N wow, thanks for the reviews! But you always know that you want to leave more! (I'm high on sugar right now, so don't mind me…)**

Ginny slowly turned around to face the grinning Blaise Zambini. Dammit

'Hi Zambini.' She said cautiously.

'Hey Weaselette. Fancy seeing you up here. Still spying on the naked fatsos?'

'Not anymore, they've gotten boring.'

'Wise choice, Weaselette. Now, why did you lie to two-thirds of the wonder team?'

'Because I can't stand Harry.'

'And….'

'I didn't want to have to ask him to give me a lift down.'

'You are one strange creature, Weaselette. So do you want a lift down?'

'Yes.'

'That's nice. Where are you going to get one?'

Ginny narrowed her eyes. Why did EVERYTHING involving this boy have to be difficult?

'Perhaps you would be nice enough to give me a lift down.'

'Perhaps.'

Ginny stuck her hands into her pockets, then blinked in surprise. There was paper in one of them. She yanked it out, and recognised McGonagall's handwriting.

'You never read the note that Malfoy delivered, did you?' Zambini said wisely.

'Shut up.' Ginny said, opening it.

_Miss Weasely,_

_Could you please meet me down in my office at 3 on Sunday? Thank you._

_Professor McGonagall_

'Maybe she's going to molest you.'

Ginny glared at the Slytherin.

'Didn't your mother ever teach you it's not polite to read things over people's shoulders?'

'Nope. She said just not to read over _her_ shoulder.'

'What day is it?'

'Are you really that thick, Weaselette? It's Saturday.'

'Good.' Ginny calmly ignored his taunt and tried to grab his broom.

'Now that's not very nice, Weaselette. There's no need to steal my broom, I know you can't afford your own…'

'Shut up. You're getting me down.'

'I'm making you depressed? You're the one yelling at me constantly.'

'Are you always this annoying?'

'Nope, I'm normally ARGHH BLAISE, JUST DIE. Today must be one of my good days.' Zambini said cheerfully.

'Uhh, right. So can you give me a lift?'

'After you just called me annoying?'

'I never said you were, I implied it.'

'Well, fine, but you'd owe me.'

'Alright, alright. So now can you give me a lift?'

'No.'

'You just said you would!' Ginny was very close to tearing her hair off and strangling the handsome Slytherin.

'Nope, I just implied it.'

'ARGH!' Ginny was about to smack the Slytherin, but remembered he was her ride down.

'Why are you waving at me?' Zambini gestured to her raised hand.

'I was going to smack you, then decided against it.' Ginny replied, wondering why she hadn't smacked the idiot in the first place. Oh yes, he needed to give her a lift down.

'Well, as enthralling as this is, I said I'd meet that girl, I don't remember her name, oh she's going to be so upset, in about twenty minutes, so I can't stand about chatting all day. Would you like a lift down?'

'YES!' Ginny screeched.

'Okay, then. Hop on.'

Once they were down at the bottom, Blaise turned around and smirked at Ginny. 'You owe me, now.'

'Fine, fine.' Ginny climbed off the broom (it was a very good model, she could tell, but nothing compared to Harry's firebolt).

'Oh, and by the way, Pansy told me to tell you to meet her in Draco's room.' Blaise waved and flew off.

Ginny glared. So she COULD have smacked him and he would still have given her a lift down? ARRGHHH!

'You've finally arrived!' Pansy grinned as Ginny stomped into the room. 'I send Blaise for you AGES ago.'

'Well, I was stuck on the roof, thanks to ferret boy over there.' Ginny growled and flopped on the bed next to Pansy.

'Hey, not my fault you turned down the wonder team.' Malfoy said languidly, from his seat on his couch.

'Now, Ginny, why _do _you hate the boy-who-snogs-really-well?' Arabella asked interestedly. 'Not saying I DID!' She quickly added, looking at Malfoy nervously. She was curled up next to the blonde sex-god, reading.

'You better not have.' Malfoy glared at her.

So Ginny launched into her story, detailing his break-up with her at the Burrow the day after Fleur and Bill's wedding, his stupid excuses, and his small penis (only kidding).

'Hmm, what are you going to do about it?' Pansy asked.

'DO about what?' Blaise Zambini entered the room, rubbing his cheek. 'That girl smacks hard. She REALLY didn't like it that I forgot her name.'

'It was Susan.' Malfoy offered.

'Now you tell me, after my face has been brutally assaulted. Now what are we doing?'

'You're doing a goat.' Arabella offered.

'And you've done a ferret.' Zambini nodded towards the peroxide king.

'No, Blaise, that would be you. I don't go for rodents.' Arabella smiled sweetly.

'If I didn't love you, I would hate you.' Zambini growled and sat down on Arabella's other side.

'Now, I've called you all here…' Pansy began.

'To my dorm room, which is strange in itself.' Malfoy offered, getting himself whacked by Arabella's book.

'To declare that I officially hate Snape, Harry Potter, and turnips.' Pansy declared.

'That's nice.' Arabella replied. 'You're point is…'

'Well, we've finally enough people to carry out my most grand plan. The annoying Snape plan!'

'Pansy, what are you tripping on?' Zambini asked worriedly.

'NOTHING! I just got ANOTHER detention for getting caught snogging someone in a broom closet! It's just not FAIR anymore! He's SUPPOSED to favour us, remember. But does he? NO? So this is what I'm going to do, I've got a list of things that we are going to do in his class. And Ginny, if you help us, we'll help you annoy Potter.'

'Sounds like a plan.' Ginny said cheerfully, examining the bit of parchment.

_Ways To Annoy People, namely Snape and Harry Potter_

_1.Sing the Batman theme incessantly.  
2. Title all of your essays For sensual massage."  
3. Specify that your potion ingredients are for potions  
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."  
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.  
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.  
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. .  
8. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".  
9. Sniffle incessantly.  
10. When walking in front of victims, randomly stop in the middle of the hall and start screaming_

_11. Giggle whenever they turn around (to write on the board)_

_12. Smile benevolently during class and go, of course darling, of course_

_13. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."  
14. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."  
15. Declare your desk an independent nation, and sue your neighbours for violating your boarders.  
16. Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."  
17. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.   
18. Practice making floo, memo, and disapperating noises  
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.  
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.  
24. Invent nonsense acronyms in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.  
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbours you are a "spider person."  
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."   
27. Wear a special hip holster for your  
remote control.  
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.  
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.  
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.  
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.   
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.  
34. Drum on every available surface.  
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.  
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.  
41. Set alarms for random times.  
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.  
45. Honk and wave to incessantly  
46. Dress only in clothes coloured Hunters Orange. _

_49. Wear your pants backwards.  
50. Decline to be seated during class, wander randomly around the room_

_51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"  
52. ONLY WIRE IN UPPERCASE.  
53. only write in lowercase.  
54. dont use any punctuation either  
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.  
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.  
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.  
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.  
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."  
62. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."  
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."  
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.  
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.  
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.  
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.  
75. Ask people what gender they are.  
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.  
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".  
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.  
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.  
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.  
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."  
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.  
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.  
88. Reply to everything in an opera song   
90.When he's waving his wand to put up the ingredients for the day, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"  
91. Ask for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." _

_93. Ask the other students mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."  
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.  
96. Never make eye contact.  
97. Never break eye contact.  
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.  
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.   
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties._

'Pansy, the numbers don't add up correctly.' Blaise was the first to point out.

'And some of these don't make sense!' Arabella whined.

'I got it from one of the Mudbloods. Doesn't matter. We can cut out some bits, and or change them to suit our needs. This is going to be PERFECT!' Pansy squealed.

'You've gone mental.' Ginny offered.

'No. We're doing it, and this is FINAL!' Pansy squealed and twirled out of the room.

'Alright, who spiked her drink and thought it would be funny?' Malfoy complained as soon as the insane blonde was out of the room.

The plan, once discussed, wasn't as insane as it had sounded in the first place. Ginny, upon meeting with Professor McGonagall, had been transferred to Advanced Potions, which made it easier, and funnier, to carry out the list.

Harry wasn't speaking to Ginny, which was fine with her, and Ron treated her in careful disbelief. He was convinced that she was dating Zambini, which was fine by her. It just shoved the plan forward a bit more.

The first day of potions class, Snape entered to see Pansy Parkinson glaring at him.

'Miss Parkinson, kindly stop glaring at me and sit down in you assigned seat.' He had thought he was being very cutting and evil, making her sit next to the youngest Weasely spawn, but since the two girls were friends, his actions fell a bit short.

With a menacing glare, Snape recited his usual 'you'll all fail so go away' beginning of term speech, annoying Hermione to no end, as usual.

As soon as Snape turned around, Pansy began to hum softly. 'Hm hmmm hm hmhmhmhm Hmmmm hm hm hm hm hmmmmmmmmmm.'

Snape twitched, and looked around the classroom for the noise. Potter and his friends used to do that to him, ALL the time.

'Hm hmmm hm hmhmhmhm hm hm hm hm hm Hmmmm hm hmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'

Ginny was finding it very hard not to laugh; in fact, she had to keep ducking behind their caldron to hide her expressions.

Zambini wasn't finding it any easier, he too had adopted Ginny's method, although he was quite a bit taller than her and found it harder to hide behind the caldron without endangering his life by setting himself on fire.

Arabella, who had moved up into the advanced potions class in her Second Year, had given up trying to do the potion and was sitting at her desk, filing her nails and chatting with Daphne Greengrass, who was doing a similar thing. Their potion was black, lumpy, and smelled like muggle perfume.

'POTTER!' Snape finally yelled. 'SHUT UP!'

Harry looked up, annoyed. 'It isn't ME professor!'

'DON'T LIE TO ME, BOY! THINK IT'S FUNNY, DO YOU? I THINK IT'S DAMN ANNOYING, AND I WON'T STAND FOR IT IN MY CLASS. OUT, OUT!'

'It isn't me, PROFESSOR!' Harry yelled right back, going into saviour-of-the-world-mode. 'You have no proof it's me, you can't just kick me out of class!'

'Fifty points from Gryffindor, Detention for you and Mr. Weasely.'

'I didn't do anything!' Ron yelled, outraged.

'Fifty points for yelling at a teacher.' Snape said snidely, and stormed out.

Ginny and Pansy exchanged hi-fives.


End file.
